It's been a pretty slow around our house this week.
I managed to sneak in a nap yesterday, plant some flowers and the annual veggies, and finally get some of the laundry put away.
The garden is looking decent and I'm interested to see how pumpkins will turn out. This year, however, I only purchased one banana and one hot pepper plant because I'm hoping that we won't have donate to the local Mexican restaurant every few days like we did last summer. They were mighty appreciative.
It's been refreshing to be out in the sun after such a long winter. Over the years, one of my favorite aspects of spring and summer has become gardening and the calm I feel while with my flowers. I know that it may sound silly, or even trite, but I love the alone time, the tranquil, serene, alone time I am allowed, even if only for ten or twenty minutes each day.
I don't mind weeding, digging in the dirt, or even sweating when it comes to my flowers. I love watching each and every one grow, bloom, and fade back into itself...only to return again next year with even more glory.
Sometimes I feel like I do that in the winter; I hibernate and return again in the spring. It's been slow goin' this year though and I still don't feel quite as recharged as I should. I know that my rose is struggling as well. Perhaps when the air is not as crisp in the morning and I can open the windows to air the house and smell the lilacs will I feel glorious again.
You know, I’m not sure if you remember me inviting all of you to Trusera about two months ago (because I have not seen any of you join yet). The invitation is still open to this new health community and all the cool people are doing it (yes, shameless social plug to get you to join with the cool people).
What is even better about Trusera now is that they have even more people on board, thus more stories, more chatter, and more people to learn from. However, with Trusera you still have the opportunity to share as little or as much as you want about yourself while browsing other stories. So, you can learn about as many health topics as you want in one place; autism, breast cancer, depression, IBS, glaucoma, weight loss, etc.
Just click on this link to join Trusera’s free and password friendly network. Do it anytime but make sure you do it soon!
I told everyone that once we got out of DNA and Family Court that I would reveal his name.
Well, we are finally out. Thank goodness.
If you want to find out what his name is...and the reason why we chose such a stately one...head to A Child Chosen.
A few days after I was contemplating some of your great ideas...
Christi suggested having it at the park. It's a fabulous idea and we did that for his first birthday party when he was 3. It worked great and was a beautiful day. No mess in the house, either!
JujuBoo suggested baking cupcakes ahead of time and letting the kids get messy and decorate their own cupcake. How fun would that be? I love that idea, especially since a lot of his friends are GFCF.
Shaping Youth had a fabulous idea of a treasure hunt (with toys from Oriental Trading) in a kiddie swimming pool. What great tactile fun!
Overwhelmed even suggested a trip to Michaels Craft store for crafty time.
AJ told me that he wanted to go back to the hotel water park and light bulb dinged (okay, burst) over my head.
Why not take him there for the night instead of having a traditional birthday party? If you add up all the expenses for a birthday party (the present, the cake, the drinks, the adult food, the favors, the decorations, etc) it is about the same price as one night at the hotel.
So, I asked him if he wanted to go to the hotel water park or have a birthday party. Guess what he chose?
I have invited relatives to join us either for the night or for swimming on Saturday if they want to but I know that it can be expensive so I don't expect everyone to conform to our non-traditional plans.
As Mother's Day nears my email inbox fills with junk mail from merchants who want me to sponsor their products on my blogs because we all know that mommy blogs are the "in thing" in advertising these days.
But since we are the target audience for these gifts, why, then, target me to sponsor their product? I suppose it's about finding the perfect for Grandmothers and sisters-in-law and I'm certain that my husband reads this blog, as he commented the other day about how I am not keeping up a vigilant posting schedule.
The point here is not the advertising or the sponsorship but the over-commercialization of days like Mother's Day and Father's Day. Aren't those days supposed to be about family and cherishing the fact that we have the opportunity to have these people in our lives?
To me, those days are not about gifts or how much my husband and son can spend on me to make me happy. Its about having them in my lives, knowing that I am able to be a mother, and being recognized as a mother, no matter what kind of mother I am; adoptive, birth, biological, foster, grand, or god, or great.
My mother grew up only two towns over from the town I grew up in and live in now.
In the backyard where she used to run and play every afternoon in the spring and summer were huge hydrangeas, more specifically known as Annabelle Hydrangeas. They lined the entire backyard. My mother fell in love with these hydrangeas and their sweet summer smell. When my grandmother moved after my grandfather passed away my mother transplanted a piece of the root.
My mother planted that hydrangea root right next to our backyard gate and it grew quickly. I grew up running past that same hydrangea every spring and summer afternoon in the backyard I grew up in. I never thought anything of it and I never knew where it came from. I just knew it was there.
But then my mother showed up at my first home with a hydrangea root. She explained the significance of that root...that it was part of my past and that no matter where I go I should always take it with me. It was the best gift my mother every gave to me.
We lived in that first house only 9 months longer but that root made it and I was able to transfer one tiny root to Michigan. For five years that little root thrived and by the time we moved back home it was a monstrous thing.
When we packed up on the last day to head back to Chicago I made sure I had a shovel and a pot so that I could dig up several roots of the hydrangea to replant at our new home.
It's done well here, that little hydrangea. It sprouted last year and held on tight. This year, despite one of the harshest winters in a long time, it has come back heartily...announcing that it is ready to shine and that it is here to stay.
Grandma's birthday is this Friday and when AJ and I were talking about what kind of cake we should make her he said that he thinks she might like a kite cake. I told him that we could certainly try to make that. I'm thinking a diamond with a tail?
When I asked him what kind of birthday cake he might like to have his response was cheese cake.
Hmmm...because you can eat cheese cake, AJ? And where in the world did you come up with that?
I recently told one of my friends that for the first time since AJ joined our family I was able to sit back and watch him, thoroughly enjoying him acting and playing like a little boy.
I read, with introspect, how other bloggers like Stephanie and Jenna, watch in awe as their children grow and amaze them each and every day. I love that they can see the wonder in their children's eyes, see their intelligence and creativity, and that they can recognize that even though they only get a few hours of sleep a night that the rest of the hours in their days are precious.
When we adopted AJ we were full of all of that hope. We wanted, after infertility, to have a child. We specifically wanted a "normal" child and we actually indicated that on our adoption papers because we were not sure if we could financially or emotionally raise a special needs child.
After three difficult years raising a child that was, according to the orphanage caregivers and the director, a "normal" child, AJ's personality is finally emerging and my anxiety and grief is diminishing.
I told my therapist last week that I was, for the first time, enjoying my son. Oh, sure, there were moments that I enjoyed him...days or weeks that I saw glimpses of happiness in both of us. There were moments that he would smile and bat his eyes at me to get something he wanted but there were never true emotions from him...except anger and frustration, of course.
He always seemed so guarded, so on the edge of balancing his entire self...like he never wanted to reveal what was really behind his facade. But now we are seeing the true AJ. We see sadness, joyfulness, fright, and love.
The sadness hurts my heart, the joyfulness fills it with glee, the fright worries me, and the love makes me ecstatic. I am enjoying his hugs, kisses, and random I Love You's.
If you adopted, how long did it take you to truly enjoy your child?
Gosh! How has this week gotten away with me? It is Tuesday already and I was supposed to announce the winners of the Bloggy Giveaways last Saturday. I had three giveaways at all three of the sites that I write for; Discussing Autism, A Child Chosen, and my personal site, My Two Boys.
But, since we are still in the middle of this construction process on our home my brain is a tad dusty (along with everything in my house!). I had 44 comments on Discussing Autism, 45 comments on My Two Boys, and 124 on A Child Chosen (WOW). So, I am randomly (okay, not so randomly) picking number 44 from all three blogs.
My Two Boys- Reeva
Discussing Autism - Audrey
A Child Chosen - Kathy
This is the dirt I picked up this morning and I swept yesterday at 5 p.m. I am beginning to think that my house will never, again, be clean. Nightmares of the scene below keep waking me in the middle of the night. Okay, not really...but I sure am tired of cleaning.
Remember that we only did construction on the first floor of our house? Well, this picture below is of the basement where we stored all of our kitchen items and miscellaneous items like my, um WEDDING DRESS? See the tea kettle, toaster, utensils? The basement was bombarded with plaster, wood flooring and nails, and inches of dust because when the workers removed the old flooring the original sub floor had about a 1/2 gap in between each board. They did all of the demolition before putting in the new sub floor.
And yes, I still have to get plaster out of my toaster.
Summer is rapidly approaching around the Chicagoland area and school is racing to an end. Knowing my son that means nothing but splash parks and swimming, sand castles and sprinklers. He is, very close to his heart, a water boy. If he could spend his entire summer in a pool he would.
We have, fleetingly, considered putting in a pool in our backyard but unfortunately, we have a very small one and city code actually permits it because of water tables. And, after our recent renovations on the inside of the house it is not in the budget anymore.
Boy, do I wish we could put in that pool. No more running to and from the city pool, lugging snacks, sunscreen, crying kids, etc. Everything could be right here at my fingertips.
However, I did do some research on the pools last summer when we were considering the pool. What I found really surprised me. I thought that salt water pools were the eco-friendly rage but I found that people who use salt water pools are still using a chlorine generators to keep their pool clean so they are actually still producing chlorine for the pool water. Additionally, salt water chlorinators clean bacteria, algae, and viruses but they also use harsh chemicals.
The newest and the best in pools is installing natural pools like Ecosmarte Pools. We have found that AJ reacts to salt water pools worse than he does to chlorine pools, which ironically, he does okay with. Ecosmarte Pools uses natural oxygen and ionization to clean your pool. These eco-friendly pools are chemical free pools systems that are crystal clear that do not use chlorine, salt, or other hazardous chemicals.
But, how do they do it? For less than $1 a month Ecosmarte Pools creates a two step process; the first step is an ionization step called the catadyne process. This step provides an unstable water environment. The second step is an oxidation state called the anodyne process. The combination of the two steps provides a chemical free, clean, safe pool.
My only problem with this type of pool is that they specifically use copper as an algaecide and virus killer. Every time your pump runs the electrodes from the pump deliver a non-chemical shock to your water via copper tubes. So, every week you have to test pH and copper levels. The problem is that AJ has high copper levels to begin with so swimming in a pool that uses copper to filter the water may have a detrimental effect on his system (thus the reason he probably does better in chlorine pools, right?)
I know that my son would love to have a pool of any sort but for now we must stick to the baby pool, the water table, and the public splash park and pool because we just don't have a choice. But, if we ever move south, which is always a possibility with my husband's job, the requirement is certainly a pool.
Life has certainly turned upside down these past few weeks. With a brand new kitchen, living with the 'rents, and new medication for AJ we have had our fair share of transitions. Eric has also taken on new responsibility at work with a new job so we are very excited about that.
What is most exciting is that AJ has learned how to simply (pardon the cliche) roll with the punches. Oh, he has his moments wherein he throws a little tantrum or tries to yell at me using his made up expletives. Those, in my mind are all natural little boy things that he is working through and I am happy to allow him to experience those things.
After only three weeks on this miracle (oh, yes!) medication I have seen a frustrated, tired, angry, and out of control maniac of a child transform into one of the sweetest, most lovable, compliant, knowledge hungry, talkative, responsive, calm, and independent 4-year-olds I have ever met. He belly laughs, holds conversations with me about the birds in the trees, answers questions; all things he could not do before.
And he is SO proud of himself for it...and that, by itself, makes almost 100 percent of the difference.
I know that I should dare not say it but right now I would not classify my son as a special needs child and if he were to be evaluated RIGHT NOW I think he would only qualify because of his speech, and processing disorders, not his behavior issues (which they don't really test for but take into account anyway).
For the first time since he joined our family there is not only a glimmer of hope for his future but a spotlight beaming on all that is possible for him.
I am so proud to be his mother and so proud to hear him look up at his papa in the morning and say, with a gleaming smile, "Good morning, Papa, Salutations."
We have made it back into our home...dust and random nails and all. This is where we are at:
1. No counter tops= no sink, no kitchen water, plywood counter... Granite comes on Monday.
2. The gas hook-up did not work on the stove. Bummer. Guess we'll eat out. Those of you who know me know I don't really cook anyway. Eric did hook up the microwave and the coffee maker this morning though. Bless his heart.
3. The water line on the refrigerator is not hooked up.
4. Everything is still coated with an inch or two of dust but I am working my tail off to get it clean.
5. I am washing dishes in the shower. AJ thinks this is fun. I'll just throw them in with his bath, right? (okay, just kidding...maybe).
We are in the final days of the reconstruction and I am very proud to say that we have made it two weeks at my parent's house without strangling them (or vice-versa, right?). It actually has been quite peaceful living with them and they have been especially handy babysitters when we needed them for a few hours, as I have been working my tail off cleaning the house to get it back in shape and I ran so many errands I think I put more miles on my Honda than I ever did in a two week period.
Once we get back in to the house I will share more details of the project (because I will have more time then) but I wanted to show you some updated pictures from yesterday. They made much more progress today and will be finished tomorrow.
We will be sleeping in our beds tomorrow night, as AJ had a small meltdown this morning and ended up falling asleep in tears crying..."sleep at Mama's house". So, I busted my tail all afternoon to clean the bedrooms. Tomorrow I tackle the rest of the basement.
Before: In the picture below you will note that there is a wall on the left. This is the wall that divides the kitchen and the living room. There is also a kitchen door that leads outside to the deck. Because there are also French Doors that are in the Dining Room we opted to take out the door in the kitchen to optimize our kitchen cabinet space.
After: In the picture below you can see that the kitchen door is gone, the coal chute is gone, the new hardwood floors are in, the new cabinets are installed, and the walls are painted.
Before: Behind this wall is the stairway.
After: In the below picture the wall that was in front of the stairs is now replaced with spindles and the entire kitchen/dining room wall and all of the doorways are gone. In place of the wall is a header for support.
Big change, eh?
And one of my favorite pictures...
To make things easy, this giveaway is the same as the last one (with the winner's choice of crystal color and pearl color or any shell bead). The crystals are genuine Swarovski Crystal and the pearls are imported directly from either the Philippines (directly from my Sister-in-Law) or from China Pearl Farms (direct from a wonderful wholesaler I found several years ago). The silver is Bali Silver from Plasi Bali, one of the best Wholesale silver resources online.
The Rules are also the same;
1. Please make sure to leave a comment here with at least one way to contact you (via email). If there is no way to contact your entry will not qualify.
2. I will use a random number generator to chose the winner on April 26th and I will try my hardest to have the earrings in the mail to you for Mother's Day.
3. US residents only.
If you want TWO more chances to win the same giveaway head to Discussing Autism and A Child Chosen, as I have three giveaways this time! And, make sure to check out ALL of the b5Media's Lifestyle Blogs for their giveaways. Catch the link at A Child Chosen when you comment on that giveaway!
Also, make sure to check out Trusera for a fabulous new Autism Community and to talk with moms of children on the autism spectrum who have "been there, done that".
My mother purchased a 3 dollar kite for AJ because today was hideously windy. He, of course, loved it. He has been playing with paper and plastic bags on our back porch for weeks...letting them blow in the wind (visually stimming, of course).
I allow this because it is calming for him but it bothers me because I feel like it may be wrong. Should I allow him to stim or force him to restrain? I have tried to force him not to do it and the result is something that I hate dealing with; anger, tantrums, resentment and constant blow-ups (and I do mean constant because this is all he wants to do right now). I am assuming that this is just a phase so I think the best option is just to wait it out.
What do you think?
